Peshwari Naan

Angelil writes on 23rd October 2006...

So....onwards from London Heathrow to Exeter via the National Express. I'd had a very good journey to Heathrow with them so was feeling encouraged. It would have been fine were it not for the fact that I was seated next to a very annoying family. This is where the title comes in, kids. Across the gangway from me were two boys aged c. 7 and 12. In front of them were (I guess) their parents, and a few rows in front of me were (I guess again) their grandparents. These kids were just left to run wild during the 3.5 hour journey - getting up and down all the time to see their grandparents, the youngest child not wearing his seatbelt at all throughout the trip, even though this is now a legal requirement on National Express; the youngest also spent a good half hour playfighting noisily with his grandad in the aisle (said parents and grandparents did nothing to discourage this). Both children managed to slam into me whenever they emerged from the loo or bent to pick up something they'd dropped. The eldest had a noisy handheld computer game and the youngest had a mobile phone, with which he answered inbound calls three times and with which he spent a good 10 mins doing the most annoying thing of all - PLAYING WITH THE RINGTONES. This earned him several dirty looks from other passengers besides myself, and his parents and grandparents did nothing to discipline him. Grrrrr. I'm sorry if I sound oldfashioned or whatever but I'm sure there can't be many people who wouldn't be driven round the bend by this. I seriously considered saying several things but they all seemed too kind:

"Can you please ask your children to leave their attempts to irritate the general public until they're in a non-confined area?" (As I said, too kind.)

"If your children were a little better behaved perhaps the majority of this coach would feel a little less homicidal." (Closer to the truth but probably would have resulted in the police being called.)

and finally...

"Turn that fucking phone off before I chuck it (and you) out of the nearest window!!!!!"

As I said, it just amazes me how some parents allow their children to behave. Grrrrr.

to the regiment writes on 20th October 2006...

Yet more toilet problems as 53002 that awaited me in Grimsby had a dysfunctional loo as its waste flap wasn't opening properly and there was no rinse to flush the contents of the bowl away. So 53002, 53005 & KSU 462 now mean that 50% of the fleet have no working toilets. Great. Gave a few people a quick stop in Louth while I was loading. All seemed okay. Nice and early into Peterborough. I spoke to Andy there and were deliberating on whether to ask for an incident report to be put in about this loo not working, too. We decided against it, for now, as this problem is brand new and it wouldn't be very fair to the depot, who may be able to sort it out fairly quickly (not holding my breath though). KSU 462 is currently the spare coach and with only 44 seats it's not really allowed on any other route than the 449 to/from Mablethorpe, so giving it to our routes could cause overloads PLUS its loo is still out of action. That light at the end of the tunnel is getting dimmer and dimmer.

Louise Hopkinson writes on 20th October 2006...

The Ripple Effect
I expect all of you have heard the saying, 'the flapping of a butterfly's wings in San Francisco affects the climate in Singapore ', well this was very much in my mind when I travelled to Birmingham last Friday. I had arrived at Exeter in good time to catch my National Express coach, and so had gone for a cup of tea. My first challenge of the day came when I discovered that my purse with all money, cards and details of where I was going was no longer in my bag even though I thought I had checked before leaving home. A large queue began to form behind me whilst I muttered about my bag being a bottomless pit! Luckily my husband came to my rescue to pay for the drink before setting off to retrace our steps back to the car park. I tried to remain calm, not allowing my mind to imagine the consequences of returning home for it, as we live over an hour's drive from Exeter and my coach was due in 15 minutes. Fortunately my husband returned with the purse which had fallen out of the bag and had been lying on the floor of the car in the multi storey car park!! I gave thanks for the honesty of people in Exeter.

Clutching my purse, I then went and joined the queue for the coach which in theory was due to leave at 11am. Quite a lot of people were in the queue and as 11am came and went, people began to get a little agitated mainly because there seemed to be nobody around to explain the reason for the delay. I will say, that I often travel with National Express and they are usually very good at keeping people updated, but for some reason this was not the case on this occasion. Eventually a coach from a local company pulled into the appropriate bay and started to load passengers for Bristol. Several of us asked about Birmingham and his reply was no, this was not our coach. Being good citizens we patiently waited in the queue. Twenty minutes later, the coach had not moved and at last an official arrived to tell us to get on this coach as it was going to connect with one to Birmingham after all. Apparently our original coach started from Paignton but had broken down and so this was why we had the one from a local company. So armed with this information, we all got on the coach and assumed that we would leave immediately as we were already running 30 minutes late.

To our amazement the coach driver just stood looking up and down the platform whilst the reality dawned for several of the passengers that they were going to miss connections as the 30 minute changeover time which applied to lots of coaches had now disappeared. People were now beginning to get agitated and several demanded to know why we were not leaving. The coach driver did his third head count in 10 mins and said that there were some passengers missing. This began to make people angry and I could sense that there was going to be quite a scene soon, not the sort of energy you want when about to make a long journey. At times like this as well as using the Violet Flame, I usually find that my mouth is opened and this day was no exception. I calmly told him that as I had travelled many times on National Express I was well aware of their policy and as you are asked to arrive 10 mins before the start of the journey it would not be a problem if you left someone who was now coming up for being 40 minutes late. I also assured him that they have even left people in mid journey if they have not returned to the coach on time after a refreshment stop.[This had actually happened on another journey, but I will save that story for another time] The driver listened carefully and at that point his mobile rang, it was a National Express official saying exactly what I had just said. He looked at me a little oddly at this point and muttered something about mind reading, but at least he went to his seat and started the engine.

At this point the remaining passengers came running down the platform. Apparently they had been on the coach at Paington when it had broken down and along with others they had been sent in a taxi to Exeter. For some reason though they had been to the cafe for a meal assuming that there would not be another coach for a while!! I have to say there were some rather unspiritual comments made as this story circulated [more Violet Flame work] but we eventually left Exeter 40 mins late.

For the next 10 minutes, there then followed a series of calls made by people to the National Express information line. I had a lovely image of the whole system being jammed by the passengers on this one coach. Each person in turn told quite intimate details of who they were, where they were going and naturally they all wanted to know what was going to happen about their connections. I tried to tell them that it was National Express policy to hold the coaches in a situation like this but they all needed to hear it from the officials. Once people had been reassured that this was the case, they began to settle down until, 5 minutes later when someone needed the toilet. There is normally one on a National Express coach but as this was a local one, there was not one. So ten minutes down the road we then had to stop for someone to use a public toilet. At this point someone remembered that the date was Friday the 13th and so most of the coach then embarked on a series of horror stories about disasters they had had on this day before and how they would never travel on this date again! More Violet Flame needed!

Two hours and several passengers in desperate need of a toilet later!! we arrived at Bristol. It is at times like this that you see National Express at its best, for lined up on the platform was a series of coaches all waiting to take passengers from the coach I was on and also several officials pointing people in the right direction. The whole thing worked very smoothly in one respect, but it meant that the passengers on all these coaches were now 40 minutes late for their destinations and connections as they had been waiting for us. There was no time for anyone to stretch their legs as they were literally out of one seat and into another and for some people they were getting pretty desperate for a cigarette. Still there was nothing they could do about it.

All of the coaches reversed out in a convey and set off for their destinations and for the whole process to start again as there was no way the 40 minutes could be eliminated from the journeys. As I sat back in my seat, I imagined the same process on all the other platforms at National Express coach stations and it was then that I thought of the quotation. How many people were going to be involved either directly or indirectly in this scenario and all because a bus had broken down in Paignton.

to the regiment writes on 19th October 2006...

Moaning Old Biddies

Actually the title of this blog is a little unfair. Of the 5 passengers to board in Stamford, only one was a moaner - the ticket holder. I'd loaded my passengers in Lincoln, Newark and Grantham, one of which was a lady who had requested a front seat. I put her on and no sooner has the other front seat been taken by a lady in her mid-80s who's a fairly regular traveller; she was going to Brighton with her daughter. I got to Stamford and the ticket holder of the 5 passengers was a fat, stern-looking woman, with scowling eyes. She showed me her ticket and said, "and we've booked the front 4 seats". They hadn't since there were no driver's notes showing this. I told her this and she went mental. Absolutely mental. I'd got both front seats taken in any case, though with only 1 person on each.

"Have you got a reference number for the front seats?" I asked her. She said she had and showed me it on her ticket. This was her ticket number, not a specific 5-digit reference number. She was right in saying that all other members of her party were aged between 80 & 90 and that they'd specifically requested front seats because they were elderly and frail. She seemed to get the impression that when she'd booked her tickets on the phone, the telephonist she spoke to saying "And you can probably have the front seats" meant she could have them for certain. Firstly the telephonist shouldn't have made such a sweepingly broad promise, and should have put them through to the Disabled Persons Helpline who would have taken details of the passengers' needs and done it all for them, ending by giving them references and putting driver's notes on my loading chart. None of this had been done, and I suppose fault lied on all sides. But, they were elderly passengers (except the ticket holder) so I tried my best to give them front seats. Two sat on the remaining front seats and the other three on the seats behind them.

They were all going to the Catholic Women's Guild (and yes the appostrophe IS in the correct place as there is only one Catholic Women's Guild), who were celebrating their 100th anniversary in Brighton. They were all too booked on the 1pm Brighton coach from London with the lady who was sat behind me, so her heart must have sank when she realised this - bang goes her front seat!

Got to London later and went to check the toilet in 53005, along with picking up any litter and the toilet flush button wasn't working AGAIN. This was meant to have been fixed on 8 September, at a cost of 1 hour delay to the 447 service. Obviously not fixed well enough. I was so annoyed I rang up NX Control and asked Mani to put an incident report in, and he gave me my unique incident report number - 738190. I thought that I'd give them a week to sort it and then ring up again, and hopefully this would make NX themselves put pressure on them to make Stagecoach sort the problem out once and for all. I did wonder if anything would be acted on by someone in NX when they read this very first incident report, and Stacey (who Mark is seeing at Manchester) seemed to think it would, though nothing got said so far).

Heading north I loaded my passengers early and with 10 mins to go told them there was no toilet (as the sign clearly stated) and that they were more than able to go now if they wanted, and that I'd have a break at Peterborough for them. No one went then, and not a word was uttered until I was approaching Peterborough. I decided to do something Andy tried a few months ago, and unlike Andy's attempt, I wasn't going to let some foreigner cock it all up, so made this announcement:

"Good evening ladies and gents; this announcement does not concern passengers for Peterborough as we are only 10 minutes away from Peterborough. For passengers travelling to Grantham, Newark & Lincoln, you have the chance to go for a 20 min break here at the Peterborough Services. During your break I'll drive the coach into Peterborough to drop passengers off for there and then return to pick you back up again. You do not have to leave the coach, you can stay on board if you wish. As you leave I will ask you where your ultimate destination is to prevent Peterborough people leaving."

This is where Andy f00ked up, as Peterborough people got off and he didn't know until he returned and there were more people on board to what there should have been. In the end, 10 people left, all for either Lincoln and Newark, and off I went into Peterborough. I took this opportunity to turn the heaters on full blast; I'd not tried the saloon heat on this coach (53005) since they were all allegedly put right last week. The cold air blowers seemed to blow okay, and yes, there was heat coming from the saloon heaters. I'm pretty sure this was the first time these heaters had emitted heat since February!!! Back to the Services I went and all 10 were there waiting for me. All commented on what a good idea this was as they had a 20 min break and only 2-3 mins had been added to the journey time. One couple had even bought me a drink as a thank you.

No one on for Grantham so I went directly to Newark (almost back on time) and then via the Coddington diversion to Lincoln. I made the fuellers' day in Lincoln when I told them the toilet wasn't working on the coach so there was no need to drop it.

to the regiment writes on 12th October 2006...

"Driver, do you know there's objectionable detritus in your toilet?"

"No, but if you sing it I'll join in on the second chorus"

South Africans are a total nightmare to transport. I've had dealings with our brothers and sisters from the Cape of No Hope before. They are total wimps; completely pathetic; moaners and groaners. There are clusters of them living in Lincolnshire. I used to think that this was based wholly in the very posh village of Woodhall Spa, though over the years it's become clear they can be found in adjacent settlements: Horncastle, Coningsby and, today, Louth. I've often wondered about why such large numbers of South Africans live in this area of Lincs, and one passenger once told me that it's because "they're the only ones that can afford to live in Woodhall Spa!" I thought that it might have something to do with the RAF base in Coningsby, but possibly not.

My first brush with what I class to be a typical South African over-50yr old traveller came 3 days after I'd been let loose on my own back in December 2003. Huggy Bear had brought me 12 standees, a delay of 3 hours and a fight and this middle-aged South African bint moaned and moaned all the way up to Horncastle that her relations meeting her would be so worried that the coach hadn't turned up. I told her that I'd informed NX of the delay and that should they be worried enough to contact NX, they would have relayed this information to them. But I was new to NX, and a little green, and allowed this woman to use my private, personal mobile phone to ring ahead. At the time, the coach phones were locked to the numbers in their phone books, so useless for calling a private number.

A month later, a complaint was received by NX from this individual stating they had grave concerns about their outward journey as there had been a significant delay, a fight and an overload. No thanks was made to me for the way that I'd handled it or that I'd allowed her to call her lift to let them know her true status. No South African has pissed me off more since, though this woman travelling today came close. I told the story below to some colleagues in Peterborough and asked the, what I considered to be, unanswerable question: "Why are South Africans over the age of 50 all moaning wimps with act like pathetic, selfish school children". Norman Wisdom gave me a superb answer to this, that most of the posh ones, eligible to afford to live in Woodhall Spa et al would have almost certainly had servants in their native land and at such a vintage age, find it difficult to integrate as a normal, well-adjusted human being in our society.

Wow. What an answer. I feel there must be some truth in it! So, onto today, and it's a cracker so fasten your seatbelt:

Pulled into Louth on time and loaded my 5 passengers. All pleasant and friendly. Last one to board was the South African elderly no tail. Her daughter, also SA, was seeing her off. The language was in English but with very strong SA accents. The farewell was pretty pathetic as far as farewells go, with "I wish you were coming with me" and "Yes I wish I was coming" and "It's a nice day for it" and "well I do like to travel - I enjoy the view in north London so much" blah, blah, blah, BUT I much prefer this banter as you can make crap jokes with these people and they find it funny! We pulled away, with this SA woman now sat behind me, next to a Pakistani who was barely able to say "ticket golders green" in Grimsby to me, and STANK of curry powder so that she could have a front seat. Again, a little humerous but nothing untoward. One whole second after I pulled out of the bus station, she went to the loo at the back of the coach. 4 mins later she waddled back to the front as I was approaching the Louth by-pass and sat back down. I just sensed that something was to be said.

"You know, driver, you have objectionable detritus in your toilet".

I'll confess to not knowing the precise definition of detritus. I was fairly sure she meant to say "dried-up shit" but wasn't 100% sure. I said, "What, in the toilet bowl?" She replied yes. I said, "Does the toilet work" and again she replied yes. Not wanting to say "What is detritus?" I said, "So what's the problem?" and she replied "Well it's all crusted over". That confirmed what she meant by detritus, though www.dictionary.com's definition is a little less specific:
1. rock in small particles or other material worn or broken away from a mass, as by the action of water or glacial ice.
2. any disintegrated material; debris.

So I said that the cleaner last night ought to really have seen to it. Actually, Mickey the pump boy at Peterborough should have cleaned it out properly during the mid-journey break the day before at 4pm. You could see her sat there thinking about it. She then leant forward and said "Well it's third world you know, not the sort of thing you expect to see in Britain!" I again said I'd have a word. Again she leant forward and said "Well do you think a word's good enough? It's very objectionable you know!" She then asked if I had a complaints form and that if so she'd gladly fill one in to assist me in my crusade to sack the chap who didn't clean the dried feculance up the night before. I had to end it by saying, "Look, I think a quiet word is all that is needed". Sensing that she'd been on the subject far too long, she shut up after that. Well, for about 2 minutes, then this happened:

"Oh driver, I'm so hot, I'm so, so hot. Can I have some air?" Now the internal temperature was 19C and the knob was set to 23C, so the cold air blowers (now fully operational!) would not come on until at least this temperature. Outside it was 11C but Mrs Tempremental Wimp sat behind me wanted cold air when everyone around her was huddled up, just starting to thaw out in their winter coats. I said that I'd have to override the heating system if she wanted cold air now as it wasn't going to come on until 23C. She said "oh thank you" not caring for her fellow passengers in their duffle coats. I turned the knob down to 19C and the cold air blowers sprung into life almost decapitating you their power was such. Everyone whose vent had been left open by the passengers the day before could be seen in my rear-view mirror frantically sliding their vent closed. "Ah, that's better" the SA woman said.

In other news, apparently the outside company who were called in on Tuesday to sort the heaters in the coaches charged at £200 call out charge and then £50 per hour. Serves them right, should have put the problem right months and months ago when it was first noted on the defect cards (that's the thing we keep being reminded is a "legally binding document" when the cap fits by our employer). Shame they dont take the contents of this "legally binding document" serious them.

As I got in the coach this morning I noticed an official NX vinyl stuck to the inside of the front nearisde seat, OVER the seatbelt sticker and the "these seats are for the elderly" sticker. It's a nice vinyl that asks passengers to respect the coach as hot food, smoking, dogs etc.. are not allowed on. It's an offical NX sticker, not an in-house job. I took it off this window at once - no one outside can see it since it's on the inside of a double glaze-tinted window 9 feet in the air. The rear of the vinyl is jet black and looks unsightly from the inside, it also makes the view out the window of the person sat there restricted. I positioned it in the lower door glass, about 3 feet from the ground, where intending passengers will see it. I did wonder if Bungle had decided to put them there, but possibly not as all the coaches have them and he's not that efficient in such a small space of time. I moved the one on 53003 tonight and will do 53004's tomorrow. 53001 doesn't have one (yet) and that leaves 53005 to do. Where it was positioned is also a black spot for us in Sleaford - we need to look out of that window when turning right towards to town centre as the road we're on is at an angle and you cannot see anything through the door. If it is Bungle that's put them in the stupid places, I'll gladly own up to moving them and cite this junction as the reason - he drives through Sleaford so must know where we're coming from. And if they start to be moved back to the passenger window then they'll end up in the bin.

Quite a rebel eh?

The Ice Man annoyed me this afternoon - he was 25 late in Peterborough (4.15pm) and gave the passengers 20 mins (4.35pm) until they had to return to the coach. This gave him 20 mins to drive the coach to the depot, take all his gear off, me put my gear on, the loo to be dropped, filled with fresh water, cleaned inside (ridding the bowl of objectionable detritus), fuelled with 300 litres of diesel, have its oil tank checked and, today for a change, have all its wheel nuts checked. I rolled back into the bus station at 5pm to a barrage of pleasant criticism. He also sold an incorrect ticket to an OAP. He came up to me and said "OAP, Clacton to Romford open return, it's a "Discount SR", right?" I said "Wrong". Discount SRs (standard returns) are only sold to OAPs on Fridays (or Sats in July/Aug), the rest of the time it's an "Child ER" (economy return). He'd also added £2 to the ticket when OAPs are only charged £1.50 extra for an open return. Honestly, what goes on in his brain, he's getting to be as bad as Goffin. I did everyone a table where you look for the class of person travelling then down to the day of the week and it TELLS YOU in no uncertain terms what to do. An "SR" for an OAP on a Thursday reads to charge them "Child SR + £1.50". Piece of piss. I'll have to do him a special table.

Reading my September NX Driver Update, I got the name of the Operative now who's in charge of upgrading the coach stops throughout the country. Simon Greene he's called. I'll be emailing him with lots and lots and a little reminder that it was a year in December when I last sent them and nothing has been done. The timetable information at Stamford and Cleethorpes is almost 3 years out of date; in Sleaford, Woodhall Spa and Grantham it's nearing 2 years out of date. It's not good enough really. I know the idea is for people to visit a booking agent, phone up or get online where accurate details are given out but they also asknowledge a growing culture (and advocate it at times) of just turning up. Stamford's timetable case says there's a 448 from there to Grantham, Newark and Lincoln at 6.50pm 7-days a week. This hasn't run since Feb 2005.

Drove 53003 back to Grimsby - saloon heaters worked a treat and overhead blowers were at decapitation strength. Impressive. And that's all down to ME and my letter to them. I'm well impressed.

to the regiment writes on 11th October 2006...

I find it staggering that no one at my depot has received official notification from our employer, Stagecoach, that commencing LAST MAY, the law changed which meant drivers need to keep a record on them of the last 21 days, plus obviously, the day they were working. Previous to this, the law required drivers to keep a record of the last week plus the day they were working. As I've blogged before, Bungle, as Driver Training Officer, should have briefed the boss who should then have penned us all a letter stating to keep tachographs for the last 3 weeks on us (a total of 21 days, though not the last 21 tachographs). This has never happened, and so as Union Rep, and I like to think a responsible one at that, I decided to do a monthly Union Update Newsletter that I'd give to the 9 full-time drivers, plus Bungle (would rub his nose in it) and the 4 spare drivers.

I chose the font Comic Sans as it's a lot less formal and I don't want people to think I come across as how Bungle would in a newsletter. I've done it to fit on 2 sides of A4, that'll be eventually produced as a double sided sheet, and it will take the form on each page as two columns, so it looks less like a book and easier on the eye - people may even read it. Below is the October edition I've done, though I've just cut 'n' pasted it on to the blog:
NEW TACHO RULES The Company haven’t written to inform us of changes to the law back in May(!!) that now state drivers MUST have charts covering the last 3 weeks plus the day they are working – that’s tacho charts for the last 22 days.

£2 AMENDMENT FEEIf you’ve not read the memo from NX yet, this is what you need to do when selling Standard Return “SR” tickets: After you’ve worked out the TOTAL FARE for the ticket you’re issuing, add £2 to it (or £1.50 concessions/NX2 or £1 for children). If the ticket is for, say 3 people, only add one amendment fee of £2. NX also ask us to add this fee to the fare and not to show it separately. “DR” tickets are unaffected.

484 COACH STOP SIGNSIf you want to pass onto me details of which coach stop signs along the length of the 484 route are either missing, have no or the old logo on them and if that stop has up-to-date timetable information on, I’ll pass it onto NX – been a year since I passed details of the 447/448/449 routes to them and they’ve done nothing……… yet.

RESERVEDWe’re trialling special reserved signs passengers place on their seat when they go for a break in Peterborough on the 449. If it’s a success and you’d like to try them out, let me know.

COACH DEFECTSHave you noticed that often when you book something off on the defect cards as not working it doesn’t get put right until one day you have to refuse to drive the vehicle making you late and annoying the passengers? Take the toilet flush button on 53005; it had been booked off on the defect cards since May and it wasn’t finally rectified until 8 September when a driver refused to drive it and the depot HAD to sort it out there and then. The latest problem is saloon heaters not working – you’ll know that currently those on 53001, 53003 & 53005 do not work. I’ve given the depot 21 day’s notice to correct this significant defect or I’ll put a grievance in against the way the Company maintain the vehicles. Receiving details from drivers in writing about this or other long-term defects helps to get things done – shows how it’s not just me picking fault with things all the time, so please write a couple of sentences about what you’re fed up of defecting and I’ll take matters further with the engineers – keeping your name anonymous, obviously.

RING THE QUEEN’S HEADThe Queen’s Head now has its own preset in the coach phones. (So you can let them know how late you’ll be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

52646 - the JonckheereTwo major problems here – the coach phone is locked and unusable and the main door doesn’t lock. If you want to use your mobile phone in place of the one on the coach, do so, but fill in an expenses form (from June in reception) at 50p per minute per call. If you don’t want to use your own mobile (or don’t have one) then obviously don’t sell tickets to passengers waving £20 at you as you’ll have no way of taking the seats out with NX Control. As for the door, it’ll have to remain unlocked and the Company to bare to cost of any damage that may be done inside, valuables stolen etc.. It’s probably best you tell passengers to keep valuables with them during breaks and not to advertise the door wont lock else they’ll be back on there like a shot.

HI-VIS JACKETSStagecoach say not to wear them while driving, but when we have up to 20 stops to get on/off the coach at, putting the hi-vis jacket on (and taking it off again) becomes time-consuming and tedious. I’m waiting for a reply from NX regarding whether they wish us to keep the jackets on while driving and if so I’ll approach Terry Fitzjohn with this for him to have the final say. Hopefully common sense will prevail.

ROUTE NEWSAfter discussions with NX about the reliability of the 449 during the high summer season, they’ve agreed to look at giving more running time between Butlins – Skegness – Boston – Spalding and possibly omitting Market Deeping. If successful, the new timetable will start in March 07. I’ll let you know what the outcome is.

NEW VEHICLESNot for us, but Stagecoach are rumoured to be buying 24 new coaches direct from an order NX have for over 200. They’re the new Volvo B12B/Caetano Levante (they’re on the 561 & 025). Apparently they’re going to replace aging vehicles at Stagecoach depots in Barnsley and Dover – ousting some 52-reg vehicles, one of which is hoped to replace 52645 – the Jonckheere.

DID YOU KNOW……?Now with the 484 service under our belt, as a depot we operate approximately 514,540 miles a year for National Express. This grosses Stagecoach just under £690k (but then they have to pay us!).

CHRISTMAS & NEW YEARI think I know the answer to this but I told Terry Fitzjohn I’d ask everyone anyway – on 24 & 31 Dec someone will be (un)lucky enough to end up at Walton. Would you prefer to spend 25/26 Dec & 1 Jan in Walton, on pay, or have a second driver to come with you and drive the coach back to Peterborough? If you choose to return to Peterborough, then whoever is rostered to start at Walton on 27 Dec & 2 Jan will have a second driver to go with them early in the morning to start the 484 off in Walton at 0840.

DUTY NUMBERSIt turned out rather messy thanks to the wages computer, but remember to alter the following duty numbers on your duty sheets –
501X is now 511 (Sat) & 521 (Sun)
502 is also 512 (Sat) & 522 (Sun)
503X is now 513 (Sat) & 523 (Sun)
504 is also 514 (Sat) & 524 (Sun)
506X is now 516 (Sat) & 526 (Sun)
507 is also 517 (Sat)
507X is now 527 (Sun)

Samuel writes on 11th October 2006...

One other incident... Our bus stopped at Milton Keynes to drop off and pick up some new passengers. The rest were supposed to stay in the bus. At least that was what was announced when we stopped along the way on my Manchester-London trip. In this return trip, I don't think the driver distinctly announced that passengers should remain in their seats. Anyway, all of us did not move, except for a young couple who went outside. I was quite near the door, so I saw them talking and the guy was having a puff... I'm not too sure, but I think the driver did have a word with them, perhaps asking them to return to their seats. Anyway, after a while the girl went off to some nearby shops while the guy continued puffing away... And the driver started to close the door (electronically from the driver seat)!!! So this guy started banging the side of the bus... The driver opened the door again... I'm quite sure the driver would have seen the guy next to the bus via the side mirrors... But the guy seemed to just tried to get his last bit of puff... while still waiting for the girl... After another 5 secs, the driver started to close the door again and started to move off... And again, the guy started banging on the bus... I think the girl started running back from the shop... But the driver had enough... He just closed the door and drove off!!! The guy ended up running alongside the bus for 10 yards or so banging on the side, but the driver just ignored him!! Wow... It happened so quickly that I guess most of the passengers were unaware of what happened. Especially since we were in a double-decker bus, and only the passengers at the bottom floor would have a better idea on what's going on... Somemore, the passengers were quite isolated from the driver's cab, so we had no easy way to communicate with him... Anyway, one or two of the other passengers muttered something... and that's it... Man, I wouldn't like to be stranded in the middle of nowhere (almost) and it was about 8pm... which was pretty dark already... What a bus service...

jimmymcjam posts a video lasting 2 mins 57 secs on 23rd June 2006 titled "Coach journey home" with the subtitle of "get naked on the National Express".

Camilla writes on 29th September 2006 ...

i hate tramps!!
Current mood: pissed off

I fuckin hate tramps!! i just got a letter from national express i get excited thinking they are going to tell me they have found my suitcase i open just to be told what i already fuckin know MY SUITCASE IS MISSING!! thanks to some fucker stealing it!! GRRRRRRRR whats the point in rubbing it in i know im soooooooooo furious!! so for any tramps out there dont steal its the most anyoying thing eva or if you do leave the straighnters- becuse my hair rite now looks like i have some really dogey perm going on!!

Sam PF writes on 25th September 2006...

Coach is a major means of travel within Turkey. I'm told the trains are rubbish. The coaches are very slick and comfortable, more so than our own National Express, and they even serve coffee.

Syxx writes on 24th September 2006...

The National Express bus was due in Nottingham at 10 to 8 but by half past it still wasnt there, I began to worry as no buses had come at this point. So I asked the couple in the que next to me which service they were waiting for, they had been waiting for an hour and a half for a Leicester service. It was quite unusual for a National Express to be late, so I rang Jon to let him know I was going to be late if I infact got there at all.
That moment the bus surfaced, it only took 45 minutes even though I nodded off it took a few seconds in my opinion.

St Margrets bus station was actually one Ive passed through loads of times on my way to London or Paris so I was very familiar to it without knowing.
I sat and waited for Jon and saw him looking for the bus gate across the station so I snook up on him and when we both spotted each other and glomped majorly.


roaming Rose writes on 24th September 2006...

We left Mums on the Sunday morning at 9am & headed back towards Heathrow - got there about 10.30. We were totally decadent & went to the bar in terminal 1 to have a glass of wine. Our Nat Exp wasdue at 11.50 but arrived at 12.20 which is about right. It always gets caught in the traffic around Victoria. The one we were supposed to have had broken down so this one was a Dup drom another company. Consequently the driver had to take his legal breaks - Nat Exp would have had a double crew to avoid this. Therefore his legal driving hours were up when he arrived in Plymouth & so we had to wait for another bus to take us to Falmouth. Got in there at 8.20 instead of 6.45. Better late in this world than the next one!

JP writes on 22nd September 2006...

I had a bit more luck with public transport today; coming back from London again I tried to catch my National Express Bus, thinking it was at 7:30. It was not. It was at 7:00, I realised this as I walked into Victoria Coach Station and noticed the Cirencester line was not in the place it should have been! Luckily for me it had been delayed by almost exactly half an hour! I managed to catch my bus, and although it ended up arriving an hour and five minutes late, that’s better than having to wait the god-knows-how-many hours for the next one. Score one for the team.


Dippy Kate writes on 18th September 2006...

We arrived at the coach stop in the village about 1020 for the 1040 coach. There were no seats or shelters on that side of the road and it was hard for me to stand for this length of time. By 1105, I'd had enough and phoned the coach company. Apparently, the coach had broken down about 10 miles away and they were waiting for a replacement and it would be about an hour. I asked what I could do as I couldn't remain standing. They asked me if my friend could take me to Fakenham which she did. We arrived there at 1140 to find that the replacement coach had not arrived or even started its journey from Great Yarmouth. We did what any woman would do and went to the coffee shop across the road with the amazing name of the Dancing Goat. Very disappointingly, we didn't see any goats dancing but the coffee was lovely. Eventually, the coach appeared and by the time the driver had transferred our luggage over, the old coach had been repaired. It was only a split radiator hose so why a local engineer could not have come out initially was beyond comprehension. We set off 2 hours late!! The coach driver's original itinery was to drive to Stratford in East London and for him to meet the returning Cromer coach. Due to the delay, this was rearranged butt he arrangements kept altering. The driver, Adam, was fantastic and everytime he spoke to his control he left the phone on speakerphone so we all could hear what was being said. The story kept changing but eventually it was decided by someone that our coach would drive to the services near Stanstead and the coach from London to Cromer would meet us there and the drivers would swap over. We arrived at Stanstead at 1510 and the driver told us the coach would be to us about 4pm. At least, this unscheduled stop meant we could get something else to eat and drink. We were also told that the operations room would ensure that all the customers with onward journies would be booked onto the next available coach once we'd arrived at Victoria. Well, we sat at the Services and there was no sign of the coach. Eventually, a passenger got hold of the operations room and was told that the Cromer bound coach had only just left and that we would have to swap coaches!! Our driver had not been told this and had to phone up himself to get this information. Eventually, the coach arrived and we left at 1710. This coach and its driver was not employed by National Express and he used his mobile as we were driving down the motorway. I mean he was not using it handsfree but just using it. Rather frightening really!! We eventually got back to London at 1830 which was about the time I should have arrived at southampton. By this time, I was in a lot of pain and was finding it difficult to move myself and my luggage. Despite me buying a disabled concessionary ticket, I got no help until I was in tears and a fellow passenger got me help. The Southampton coach driver was very rude and unhelpful and pointed out I'd missed my coach by 4 hours - I knew that, thnak you. National Express had never booked our forward journey even though they said they would. I arrived home at 2130 and was rather tired and exhausted.


Joh Choo writes on 16th September 2006...

I can't begin to tell you how much I hate the new fleet of National Express coaches. It looks comfy, but really - it isn't! It looks modern, until you notice the number of cheap and tacky plastic furniture that graces its interior. Like cheap Asian (except Japanese) cars.

Super Noodle writes on 16th September 2006...

I am really starting to hate National Express Coaches. Why do they always treat me like I'm some sort of criminal?
I went to get a coach back from Manchester to Glasgow today. I had used my NX2 card to order the ticket. It's a worthless piece of cardboard with a certain number on it that gives me cheaper coaches. Only today I couldn't find it & I assumed it wouldn't be THAT much of a problem. It's only a piece of cardboard and I knew the number by heart & I can prove that I am me. Shouldn't they have had my name with that number in their computer system?
So I'm about to get on the coach and the woman asks me for my NX2 ticket. I explain to her that I can't find it and unless she wants to wait for an hour while i rummage around in my bag i could just tell her the number? She kept saying that she had to SEE the number on the piece of cardboard as if I was refusing to tell her.
All of a sudden she starts to shout at me and people around us are starting to stare wondering whats going on. The woman was still holding my ticket and marched across the coach station to the ticket office telling me to follow where she demanded that I pay another £10 to get my coach.
The woman walks away and leaves us with another woman to "deal with me". I didn't shout back at the woman although I should of. Ben questioned her as to why she shouted at me and she said it was because I was lying. I didn't lie to her. I told her that the card was in my bag somewhere. After looking for several minutes I asked my boyfriend (Ben) if it was possible if I had left it at his. Somehow in all of this I'm in the wrong. After being left with the other woman at the ticket office I tell her that i was just being screamed at for no reason. She asked the manager over who tells me that I have to pay the money. I didn't mention money. I mentioned being shouted at for no reason. She probably assumed I was causing a fuss and that her staff were in the right to shout at me but I did nothing. I wonder if I had been of a different race would she have shouted at me the way she did. You CANT just shout at someone of a different race for no reason NO for that would be wrong. Let us take all these bottled up comments and release them at someone younger who dresses in a different style to them.
The short, fat woman returned minutes after leaving and she told me that if I didn't give them another 10 quid for the journey that she would lose her job as there could be an inspector. Surely they get told the days they will be inspected? She also told me that there computers do not store details of NX2 cards. If this was the case then I could use any NX2 card for my travel. We asked her this and said I could be Mr B Daly as a joke. As if considering it the woman asked to see my boyfriends card and after staring at it for several minutes told us that there was a part on it that means that I couldn't use it. She never told us what part. And if there were no records of NX2 then i don't get why it was such a big deal to let me on without it.
If the woman had asked nicely I might of considered paying it but shouting at me and dragging me over to the ticket desk as if I were the "naughty child at school" and accusing me of lying (when she herself was lying not me) in front of a station full of people doesn't seem nice or maybe that's just in my little world.
Being horrible for the sake of horrible
I would rather spend more money on another way to Manchester when I go than to be treated like that.

Tim writes on 15th September 2006...

After taking the national express - well actually we all called it smelly express after the poo storage of the bus apparently started leaking from a previous journey - we arrived on time at Heathrow.


Leonora writes on 8th September 2006...

i hate national express coach journeys.
not because it takes 6 hours to travel from london to liverpool. or because the man infront of you snores like a bitch, or the fact there is ALWAYS a token crying baby. or because you are branded as evil for not letting a smelly bastard take the seat beside you.

but for this........

having a bird POO ON YOUR ARM whilst waiting for the driver to finish his cigarette, and not realising until you awake and lift your head from your pillow/arm somewhere on the outskirts of stoke-on-trent.